Freudian Slips

So what you will end up with at the end of reading this entire blog of a story is a good sense of:

 

A messed up Family court system.

 

AND

 

People who messed up and spend a lot of time lying to cover their butts, because they wronged others.

 

AND neither know of a thing called:

 

Honest Apology.

 

 

Jealousy, hate, and all of those rotten things, thrown in with a touch of mental illness and then some sloppy, greedy bureaucrats have brought my family to the point of the story where we are currently at.

 

In the last post, you had just a dash….a little taste…..a nibble…..of school officials that messed up in the past, now being questioned about their actions in a totally unrelated investigation.    In fear of lawsuits and being caught doing a child wrong, they lie to cover their mistakes, “inactions”, and they ended up throwing the one parent under the train to save their own skins.  And all they have really done is caused more trouble for themselves in the future…… That is trouble in dealing with the appropriate areas of JUSTICE.

 

In a very detailed post, with many pictures and files to share we will also cover what the FOC did and did NOT do and how that area STILL has not been CORRECTED.

 

And now we have another little taste to give you about how family can do the same.  Not mine.  My family has been kind, supportive, and some have offered to testify (shown up repeatedly to do so over months) and have actually written letters of support.

 

No.  My daughter’s family.  His mother.  Her paternal grandmother.

 

It is sad.

 

Heartbreaking.

 

Disturbing…..looking back and recounting it all.

 

This is not all of it by far…

 

This story will last a little bit longer, but where it will go is where it has brought my daughter in making a decision:  There are some people she has washed her hands of and will never trust again.

IMG_20170602_070714

Daughter?  You mean your Granddaughter…..right????

 

Yep.  That image is just the beginning of what will be posted.

 

That leads us into what Paul Harvey would call “The Rest of the Story”.

 

My ex-mother-in-law was very open about the abuse and mental instability in her own family, as well as her ex-husband’s family, when I met her and throughout the years to follow.  On so many occasions, she expressed how happy she was that her son found someone like me who had a big caring family to be a part of, since his family was so broken and full of drunks, sexual predators, cheaters, and beaters.  She, herself dealt with what at first she called “manic depression” and then later spoke of her condition as bipolar disorder.  She was rather frank with my family (mother, father, sister, etc.) about her ups and downs, as well as the Prozac that she took and when it wasn’t working.

 

My ex-mother-in-law expressed worry on a regular basis about  her son having depression, as well as his drug/alcohol usage.  She expressed that she worried about what he remembered of his father and their rocky relationship.  Her and her ex-husband had been married and divorced twice.  He had a drinking problem and had a nasty temper, going so far as trying to strangle my ex-mother-in-law in front of their son, my ex-husband.  (Hmmmm….Sound familiar?  Like Father, Like Son.)  She had a bad habit of sleeping with married men.  (So much so she even hit on my own father and right in front of me, when my mother and him were having problems.  Dad had helped move some furniture for her and….well, she took that as an act of:  He was interested.  Not.)

 

My ex-mother-in-law claimed that she was sexually abused by her older brother throughout her childhood.  She claimed that her son was sexually abused as a child by his male babysitter.  She claimed that her brothers were all jealous of her and their adult relationships that I witnessed were as erratic as the seas.  I never knew which one she was talking with or not, and if I made the mistake of bringing up one she was quarreling with…..well, I would get an ear full of how much she hated that one.  She lost a child, a baby girl, and then had endometriosis and could no longer have any children.  She talked about how abusive her ex-husband had been and what a drunk he had been.  I sympathized with the woman, but knew something was not right with some of her stories.

 

She seemed to like being with my large family and I invited her to holiday events quite often.  Depending if she was on an up or down, she would attend.  There was one Christmas she came to my parents where we had many of my mother’s family over.  My ex-mother-in-law would just not talk much and gave my family members very strange angry looks as they passed.  She claimed that my family made her feel bad and she left.  My ex said that his mother was just having one of those times.  She became more and more rude to my family and my mother over time.

 

She had longtime affairs with married men, while single.  There was her MSU instructor who was from out of the country.  He was a pleasant man to meet, but he was married and had no intention of divorcing, because he had young daughters.  My ex-mother-in-law would get angry that he wanted to spend time with his children and not her.  It ended bitterly and she was a mess for a while.  The ups and downs got worse and my ex spent a lot of time with her, his mother in her depression.  That was the last boyfriend, before she met who is now her much older and well-off husband.

 

After we had gotten married and our one and only was due to arrive, my ex-mother-in-law began to act more strange.  Her ups and downs became more extreme.  But she let us know that her psychotherapy boyfriend had suggested alternate therapy for her and that she was not on the same medications any longer.   She didn’t need them any longer!  Her anger became quick and her mood swings were quite unbearable.    She was always angry and talked horribly  about her family and any woman-friend of her past.  (I had co-workers who had worked with her in the past, who did not like my ex-mother-in-law based off of the married men she fooled around with and how she tended to stab other women in the back to get ahead.)

 

She started telling my mother and sister stories and things that they became concerned about and brought to my attention.

 

At one get together she told my family members about how her son, my ex, would cry so bad she would lock him in a room.  She ended up letting him cry until he ruptured something in his belly.  She told stories about how bad it was raising her son.  How she would leave him alone while she went to work, and he was too young for school, and told him to be quiet and not answer the door or someone would take him away.

 

And the weirdest of them all was this:

 

There were occasions when the ex-mother-in-law would tell family members and ME, that if my ex messed up as bad as his father did, she would take our child and raise it as her own.

 

Let me post this again:

 

IMG_20170602_070714

 

This is not the first of what you will call Freudian Slips.

 

It would just get worse.  She made a bedroom for my daughter at her home and kept clothes for her there, never to be worn….just clothes hung in my daughter’s closet over “there”.    His mother  started to just want him and our daughter to come and visit, only.  My then husband would demand that I stay home.  (Later, as you will see, she claimed that she never knew of this and would never request that I stay away…….)

 

Her and her new psychotherapist husband started to prepare St. Johns wort teas for my ex-husband, while our marriage began to crumble.  My ex started to become more paranoid and then there was the weird hallucination moment in the grocery store, when he came rushing to us in a panic because he feared his wife and child were figments of his imagination.   When we were on the cusp of divorcing she sent the following message to my ex, prior to our divorce:

 

Wierd Email From S to P

I found it in our joint email trash and forwarded it on to be saved in my own email address.  I knew things were getting too weird with both of them.   I also wondered where he went since he obviously was not seeing his mother on times he claimed he was with “mom”.

 

And shortly after that she told me face to face, that no matter what happened, she would do anything for her son and protect him even knowing what he had been doing to me and our daughter.

 

I guess she held true to that.

 

My ex-mother-in-law started to act differently years after our divorce and during a spell that my ex was dating another woman, who did not seem to get along with his mother and exited the scene right after they tried to move in together.  I had been injured in a bike accident and the ex-mother-in-law started showing up at my apartment to see me and my daughter.  From what I have learned, she wasn’t getting enough of “her time” with my daughter.  My daughter told me that her father didn’t take her to her grandmothers a lot anymore….

 

Let me back up here.

 

Quick important fact:  My ex DID NOT HAVE OUR DAUGHTER STAY OVERNIGHT WITH HIM ALONE  up until this point.  He had moved over 100 miles away (without notifying me or the FOC) to live with a friend, who had drinking and driving problems, a pot smoking habit and had lost his parenting time with his own children.  Our daughter, once overnights were allowed, stayed weekends with her grandmother, his mother, until he moved back to the area to move in with his new girlfriend.

 

This is where we pick up the story.  He started having our daughter stay with him at his new apartment with his girlfriend.  Things were not jiving with the ex-mother-in-law and the new girlfriend.  The girlfriend that left and left behind a “Dear John” letter that my daughter found….

 

The ex-mother-in-law started the complaints that my ex was being mean to her and this is where all of the “I didn’t know he told you that” and “I didn’t mean what I said” and “I was just so confused” crap started up from her.

 

Well, of course the ex still left our daughter with his mother quite a bit as he moved on from one woman to the next……

 

…and  I met and married my husband.

 

My ex-mother-in-law asked my daughter to ask us if she could come to our wedding.  My daughter was to just ask us, not tell us that Grandma wanted to come.  (She let us on to how Grandma asked her to ask us if she could come.  We thought we were just granting the wishes of a child for family unity.)  Her Grandmother, my ex-mother-in-law, had been visiting quite a bit since we moved to be near the lake up north.  She camped nearby and when my ex didn’t want our daughter during “his parenting time” she would come up and camp and my daughter would camp out.

 

My daughter brought up something repeatedly and after I lost my child, she got mad and told me to “stop talking to Grandma”.  My daughter caught my ex-mother-in-law telling my ex a secret that my daughter had told her Grandma:  I was pregnant AND It was high risk.

 

My ex started calling me at all hours of the day and night, during work and while I tried to sleep.  Harassing me, threatening he was going to do something stupid with our child, telling me how stupid I was to get remarried and try to have another kid – it wouldn’t work “You will see”.  That story is for another blog post…

 

It just got worse with the ex and his mother.  She would call.  He would text.  All different stories.  I have the texts about situations like:   She would meet and pick up my daughter at McDonalds at 6:00pm.  She texted the ex that she was due to pick up our daughter at 5:30pm.  She told my daughter “Grandma will see you at 6.”  I got to the restaurant at 6 and she had blown up to the ex about me changing plans and not letting her know…..

 

It was a drama for her, as her husband put it she would “flare”.  This was the typical.  This is how it was and ended up being.

 

And then the spring break fiasco.  In short:  The ex left our daughter with the ex-mother-in-law for the first part of spring break during what was supposed to be his parenting time again.  Since he wouldn’t take her and planned to spend his vacation time off fishing with his buddies, we asked to take the time and spend it on an road trip vacation.  My ex agreed.

 

My ex-mother-in-law told my daughter I was stealing her.

 

And then the ex-mother-in-law proceeded to call me foul names and blame me for everything wrong in her life.  My daughter was a mess when we went to pick her up, mid-week.  She wanted nothing to do with her grandmother after hearing more rants from her.

 

The next visit to them, via her father, my daughter was apologized to by her grandmother……..AND then locked in her psychotherapist step-grandfather’s home office until she screamed and cried and begged to leave.  He had tried to convince her that she had lied and what she was learning at her little country church was brainwashing her into a woman she shouldn’t be.   When they allowed her to leave the room, they told her that she could never tell me what they did, or I would never let them see her again.  She was no longer a little girl and she knew what was done was wrong and told us as soon as she came home to us.  I reported this incident to the FOC and the state psych board.

 

……nothing done…..of course……

 

So, for a long time before this the ex-mother-in-law has told my daughter that she was so sorry about how her father treats my daughter.   She would tell my daughter how much she wanted to help, but she was afraid she would never see my daughter again if she took a stand against her son. 

 

This woman told ME what she had witnessed my ex do to my daughter:  Bullying and trying to force her to eat peanut/nut foods to break her out of her bubble.  This woman talked about it in front of my daughter to me. 

 

This woman told me how filthy and disgusting my ex’s home was all the time.  This woman told me the same stories my daughter did about the garbage and dirt and mold and peanut products and in front of my daughter and others!  This woman told me that she went over and cleaned my ex’s home sometimes, just as my daughter told me too!

 

This woman got on a stand and swore that she would tell the truth.

 

She denied everything she ever told me and others.  Called my daughter a liar. 

 

My daughter – her GRANDDAUGHTER saw the transcripts.

 

She knows her grandmother lied under oath.

 

And the courts think that it is wrong that this now young lady, a teenager knows that people lied…..under oath……about her…………

 

I told all of this to the Evaluator.  He left all of it out from his report: what I told him.  My daughter told him too.  He left that out as well.

 

Just wait.

 

I have more………

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mama Bear Has Had Enough

I am going to play catch up, starting in the middle of the story.

 

Why?

 

To drill home a point before I start naming names and posting documents:

 

In the midst of everything that is happening in my personal life, some people have gone and mixed small town BS and Politics with the best interest of my child.  So, when a parent is pushed to the limits and small town BS and Politics are thrown into the mix of something I have been trying to keep at home, Some BIG Stuff is going to hit the fan.  We have kept so much to ourselves and our families, so much so that the people who are nearest and dearest to myself, my husband and my child HAVE NOT SEEN OR HEARD about our personal  problems enough to see it stopping us from just being a family and just living.

 

Well, now the tides have turned and we have taken all that we can, mostly when small town BS and Politics HURTS our loved ones.

 

So, what we have here are some butt-hurt people who have political issues with some of my friends, have been on power trips (where other teachers are scared of them ) and those pansies who decided to lie to cover their rears.  And in doing so, they just happened to get recorded spilling lies, mis-info and some fabrications that are going to get them just where they spread rumors of in the past:  Telling people that I was going to sue you and your school.  NEVER EVER SAID OR TOLD ANYONE THAT.  Well, you know Slander is not cool.  Screwing with a child and a sensitive custody case to save your butts from having the DOJ come down on you for not following the rules that gets you your Special Education dollars and grants and money for your school….

 

You messed up.

 

Bad.

 

And not following up on requests for why your staff did these things:   Not good.

 

Over the last year, during deliberations in a long drawn out court case the whole family was ordered to go to yet ANOTHER evaluator.  (Mind you, this was done before.)  The court picked the evaluator.  Someone from “out of town”.  (Not.  We will cover this in such depth in another post and what you will learn will sicken you.)  The said evaluator took MONTHS to interview and test the whole family.  (We will also tell you about the evaluator’s little trips away and what I was accused of due to the evaluator’s delays.)  The evaluator also charged the family members EACH Thousands, upon Thousands of dollars.

 

Now even though there were years worth of historical documents and PPO’s  and past evaluations and texts and emails about my ex admitting his past abuse to me, abuse to me in front of his child, his porn problems, his past arrests for picking up prostitutes, him trying to force our daughter to eat food that had nuts, may contain nuts or was processed in a facility with nuts (because I had her on “fad diets” and she needed to get out of her bubble and she was just being an overdramatic teen) and physically bullying her….etc., etc., etc. …… He now was denying almost every single bit of it, claimed my daughter and I were lying and that I had actually abused him.

 

Wow.

 

In the midst of these new claims, the ex then proceeded to tell the evaluator about how my child’s school calls me a problem parent and that the principal had even called my ex and told him that he feared that I would sue the school and asked my ex to try to get me not to sue the school.  He also brought up a teacher that had given my daughter problems throughout a whole school year.  The only teacher to ever make an issue about not only my child’s allergies, but ended up causing my daughter to get ill in her class – which WE NEVER got a call or apology or feedback from the school on.

 

I have volunteered and gone on field trips, brought treats for teachers and students, helped out at the school and the kids get so happy and excited when I am around.  Not tooting my own horn, but what in the freaking world?!?  I ask questions and request info, that parents should and I have been told it was appreciated to have a parent take such interest.  I did not make peanut-free school demands and even took time off of work and prepare my child’s own meals so that there was no hardship on the school, because of their supposed ONLY peanut allergy as the school receptionist told me several times.  (She didn’t believe me the first time I brought an epi pen in when my child started middle school.  Just had never heard such a thing for food allergies.)  I put up with a lot, without saying a word.

 

I did NOT give the evaluator approval to speak to that one teacher.  I gave the evaluator permission to talk to the principal and her current teachers and many others about FACTS in her file.  Not that teacher, though.  The principal assured me that the only things that would be discussed were academics and anything in my daughter’s file.  No family dynamics would be discussed and only approved teachers.

 

Lies.

 

I have pages from that document of fabricated stories and a lot of information, including family dynamic related information that was discussed and NONE of it is in file or had been.  Period.    And the problem teacher was interviewed.  In fact the evaluator took more time talking to her than my child’s allergist (and he never called her doctor or the past evaluatorS either).

 

Image 1 contains just what we will call an example of dialog, since I cannot publish the actual or whole document.

Image 1:


504 Lie #1


 

The 1st two sentences contain a fabrication, as you would call “a remembered’ or even “false memory” situation that never took place, years prior.  And nothing of the sort is in my child’s file.   I know.  I read through her file AND took pictures of it. 

The 3rd sentence is true.  The last sentence is NOT.  After the school initiated and put into place, a 504 plan for my child in November of 2015, MORE happened in this teacher’s class.  See Image 2.

Image 2:


The Missing Email


 

This is the email that I sent to the 504 coordinator.

 

After my daughter got sick in the class, and was convinced it was just a bug, even though children were eating peanut M&M’s in the class and the teacher was throwing them at the children around her, I sent this.  This teacher was told that no peanut products were to be in the class,prior to this….in NOVEMBER of 2015.  Look at the arrow.  This was in MARCH of 2016 .  And yet she did this.  My daughter was vomiting so bad that night and disoriented.  When I contacted her allergist they confirmed that this could have been a reaction, seeing she had no fever and these were other symptoms of what a severe reaction.  I talked with the coordinator and the principal never got back to me.  No one did about the classroom incident.  The school bus and that group were awesome and they got on it…..But not this teacher or the principal.  I was assured that he was supposed to do so and HE FAILED.

 

When I saw this report and contacted the coordinator about wanting to view my daughter’s file, she looked  through it and did not find a thing about any of the “allergy” issues.  NOTHING about the food issues in this teachers class over the year.  By the time that I viewed my daughter’s file, this email was copied and put in file.  (The email had the date it was printed from her computer on it, which was just the day before I viewed the file.)  But there was nothing else.  Not a single story that was regurgitated to the evaluator.

 

Interesting.

 

And then there is this Image 3.

 

Image 3:


504 Lie 2


 

 

Problem with this is that the 504 plan was put into place after this first incident she brought up.  The teacher told BOTH my daughter and me about not being sure about the ingredients in the food item she brought it.  (What if I recorded that parent/teacher conference??? Hmmm.  Not saying that I did….But what if???)  She humiliated my daughter in front of the classroom, not about some religious piece (as she claimed and I will post that tidbit later) it was because she let my daughter know that she made a choice not to eat so she could not earn the 2 points that everyone else got.  My daughter is honors and high honors.  That hurt.  Being brought up like this, like she was just not wanting to do it because she was picky or being over-dramatic (just as her own father had been bullying her about too) really hurt.  AND THEN that woman brought in pastries for all the kids who ate the food and announced that my daughter couldn’t have any because she was allergic.  Humiliating for a youngster.

 

I did not just contact her……. I brought it up during parent teacher conference, shortly after both incidents in a conversation about diversity and excepting others.  My daughter hated this woman’s class because she kept talking about diversity and accepting others, yet was doing things like this to my child in her class.  My daughter thought she was a hypocrite.

 

I am completely disgusted with these people.

 

The small town BS, comes down to:  I am newer folk.  Not born and raised in smalltown America.  My ex probably told this gun toting teacher that I hate guns and hunting and fishing and he then conversated with her about  all of the outdoors stuff he does and I do not like to do.  (I know this one…..he tries it with conservative types.  Little do they know that he hates them all and calls them the devil. ) Oh, and don’t forget that I married someone who is into local politics.  Small town politics is so freaking bad – the rumors and dirt and stupid crap people believe, because they have got nothing better to do.  OR they and their families have been worshiped as the elite for so long…..well…..Some butt-hurt goes on when a newbie steps up.

 

When I went higher with this, even face to face……….

 

Nothing.

 

No apologies.  No response to an email that I sent……

……and can see that it was opened and what IP address opened it and when…….

 

So, the full narrative was used to show what a problem parent I am at school, and that nothing I said was believable.

 

Well, believe this:  I have a handy recorder.  So if you plan on just talking about things instead of documenting in email and text….this is your public warning.

 

Smile,  you’re on candid camera.

What is Bullying?

Please explain this to me, someone:

 

How can a judge say in one breath:  Even though the police and CPS found differently, I find that there are no signs of any abuse….

 

….and in the next breath….

 

…..turn to the accused abuser and say:  You need to stop bullying, calling names like [examples], picking on and poking and physically bullying, harassing the child….

 

???

 

What?

 

This one has me baffled, after  I witnessed it.

 

Thoughts?

 

While you think, here is a little Wiki Def for you:

 

Bullying

Definition

There is no universal definition of bullying, however, it is widely agreed upon that bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior characterized by the following three minimum criteria: (1) hostile intent, (2) imbalance of power, and (3) repetition over a period of time.[14] Bullying may thus be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally or emotionally.

The Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus[15] says bullying occurs when a person is “exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons”. He says negative actions occur “when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways.”[15] Individual bullying is usually characterized by a person behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person.[16]

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying

A Pen Named Hanzo

It has been a very long time since I have blogged.

 

So much more has happened…..and so much more has been uncovered. 

From here on out, I will be publishing not only transcripts, emails, text messages, reports and documents of all sorts, but also……. 

From here on out, those who have lied to cover their own rears, save their jobs, to act our their hate or acted out for politically motivated purposes will all be exposed.  By name.  By profession.  By exactly what they did. 

And they need to know, that one step at a time I will be taking each and every single one of them to court:  Suing (just as some feared and spread  rumors of, back when I had no desire or thought of doing so).  Filing complaints to the highest powers possible.  Publishing with any news source possible about what was done to my family.

Pen is mightier than Sword…….

and my pen is named Hanzo.

Unconstitutional Family Court

7“Civil” Contempt of Court.

 

Nothing is really “Civil” about it.  Your rear can be tossed in the can AND they can try to strip you of your right to testify against yourself because, you know……

 

It really ain’t criminal.

 

BUT…

 

They can throw your rear in the can, until you comply….or THEY think you will comply.

 

Dads (mostly) and Moms have put up with this in Family Court.

 

And what if the Court, and the bureaucrats that service their offices, do not comply to their own orders?  What happens to them?

 

I will tell you what happens:  They drag you through endless proceedings and threaten you with contempt when you cause a stir and bring those contemptuous acts to light.

 

That is what happens.

 

It is a threat technique and it assists in:  Harm to our Families and Children.

 

The Fathers of this Nation are tossing in their graves with the corruption in Our Country!

 

 

I don’t have a say if I am abused…..

At the Age of 14, without parental consent, my daughter can:

Get birth control or a birth control subscription.  (Even though 16 is the legal sexual consent age…..)

Can decide what her “gender” is, on any given day.

Request to be, and if found suitable, be hospitalized for mental illness.  (Who would deem it suitable??? Government…..) This would be limited inpatient care, but if the courts deem it ok, then she can commit herself.  She can also get outpatient services too. (Oh!  The information gathered in the outpatient services MAY not be available for the parent. How about that?  Who determines that?)

Get substance abuse help, without notification being give to a parent.  AND again this medical information MAY NOT be available to the parent(s).

Get medical or surgical care for diagnoses and treatment of a venereal disease or HIV.

 

But at 14…..my daughter cannot make a decision to be safe and ask to stay away from her abuser…..

At 14…..her word is not reliable, even with witnesses, to save her from more harm…..

But she can get the pill, without her parents’ consent to go have sex……

 

What does this teach a young lady?

Allergies and Abuse: What Happens When Adults Bully Children?

 

 

As promised, we are on to #1 from the past blog:

publication1

We are seeing more and more severe allergies popping out of the woodwork.  An increase in anaphylactic reactions and deaths. Recent allergy related deaths of young people who mistakenly eat foods that cause the severe reactions have been making headlines. The anaphylactic reactions that killed them have sadly and unfortunately been helping bring attention to other areas that revolve around severe allergies:

 

Baiting, Bashing, Bullying

 

Bullying is a form of abuse. It can include baiting the victim and then bashing them to humiliate them. It is different than friendly teasing and can have deadly consequences. It can be verbal, emotional/mental and physical. It can be all three, combined.

 

We see so many forms of bullying when it comes to young people. So many avenues to attack, with fast communication options and the world of social media. But what about those bullying situations that cross a very narrow line:   When tools of bullying can lead to death. Every day items. Tools such as using food against an allergic person.

 

Other Allergy Bullying related stories have surfaced as more attention has been brought to the forefront by different allergy research and awareness group.

 

I have read articles, from news sources to personal blogs and documentaries about this form of bullying happening in schools and to young people who suffer with severe allergies. You read about everything from young people poking fun at the allergic child and making sure they feel excluded by mocking their allergy, to telling others that it is not real, to physically endangering the allergic child with food: Throwing food at them, trying to get them to eat something that could lead to a severe reaction, tricking them into eating food they are allergic to. These bully tactics could lead to severe reactions of anaphylaxis.

 

That crosses a line. A line that is threatening and endangering.

 

Now when a child does this to another child, they are held accountable and sometimes punished (expelled, etc.). Other times it is just very young children with a lack of understanding about what serious repercussions their actions can have on someone, and there is a burst of education that all benefit from. But for those times when no amount of advocacy helps and the activity continues, there is no question when a child is removed from a situation like those food threatening examples that are given above. It is done in the best interest of the child’s health and mental well being.

 

Now what if there was an adult who was doing any of those things noted above? Doing any of those things fully knowing what anaphylaxis is or they just doesn’t believe what tests and doctors have reported? OR even worse: Done ALL of those things and more? What would be done?

 

Think about that…

An adult trying to force a child to eat a food that testing and past reactions show will lead to something very severe: anaphylaxis. An adult physically pushing and poking and slapping a child that would not eat food that is, or noted as possibly containing, an allergen that WILL cause a severe reaction. If that adult does not change or only acts like that when left alone with the child, and the child speaks out and begs not to be put in that situation, what do you do? What if the child had shown signs of milder reactions after being around that adult? What if someone witnessed the adult do such things?

 

Do you punish that child by making them just deal with it?

 

What if I told you that this happens.

 

From friends to relatives to parents, this happens. And the children are not only put in harm’s way, they are mentally and emotionally scarred. And our courts are not prepared to deal with the problem.

 

Trying to force a person to eat a food that will cause anaphylaxis IS endangering their life….if not more.

 

What if the child is at the end of their rope and the stress of it is taking a toll on their emotions? What if they threaten to run away if they are forced to be in a situation where an adult will torment them over their food allergies, yet again? What if they just decide to give up and eat whatever is given to them, because life has been too hard and they get hurt anyway when they try to protect themselves?

 

How can this be addressed and handled in today’s society? How does our failing court system handle this? My experience of how it is dealt with today is this: For the child to face their abuser repeatedly as they lie and change their story several times to cover up what they have done (or try to do so) in “reunification” style counseling.   (With those counselors never once getting medical info themselves or consulting allergy awareness groups.) Force the child to take calls from the bully to only listen to the abuser taunt them more by telling the child that they are overdramatic and just living in crazy fear, (because they think no one else is listening and no one can by court order). And the worse is eventually being forced to stay with them even though the “allergy-disability mental” abuse has been substantiated.

 

A young person advocates for themselves, their wellbeing, begging to stop being treated so badly and no one will listen or understand:

This form of bullying is VERY dangerous and should not be allowed to continue.

 

Come to think of it:

 

When it comes right down to it….should we even consider this “Bullying” when adults are the perpetrators? If the adult is well aware of the severe food allergy and the results of eating/having contact with the food and then that adult still feeds or tries to force a child to eat……Wouldn’t that be medical neglect?

 

“Grandpa and Grandma think that my parents are overreacting. When I stay with them, Grandpa keeps trying to get me to eat what I am not supposed to and tells me if I don’t it will hurt Grandma’s feelings. He says that my parents just don’t know what is good for a kid. I feel bad and I don’t want to tell my parents and hurt my family. I just throw away the food. I am afraid I am going to get caught by them when I stay with them, though.  I am really afraid I might eat something bad.”

 

“Mom and Dad broke up. Dad says mom just has me on crazy diets and that I am being over dramatic because of the split. Dad won’t go to the allergist. He won’t listen to mom. He won’t listen to his own mom, either! He always tries to take me out to eat at places that have nuts or nut sauces and he yells at me and then complains I am stubborn like my mom. The last time he pushed and started poking me in the head.  That didn’t feel nice and kinda hurt.   That wasn’t the first time…. He keeps stuff in his house near food I am supposed to eat. When I have I eaten there, I end up getting so sick. Mom doesn’t know about the food in his house. I think he will be mad at me if I tell. This doesn’t feel right.”

 

“My teacher doesn’t pay attention to the allergies I have. I have a plan at school, but she keeps making me feel bad when I bring it up in class. She gets mad and says it probably isn’t that bad. She always has candies and treats with stuff I can’t have in them. I get scared, but I am getting embarrassed always having to bring attention to myself in class. I already feel different. I don’t want people to think I am a weirdo.”

 

Real stuff. Pretty messed up.

 

Food Allergy Awareness Bullying General Info

 

Food Allergy Fact Sheet

 

Food As A Weapon: Bullying