So what you will end up with at the end of reading this entire blog of a story is a good sense of:
A messed up Family court system.
People who messed up and spend a lot of time lying to cover their butts, because they wronged others.
AND neither know of a thing called:
Jealousy, hate, and all of those rotten things, thrown in with a touch of mental illness and then some sloppy, greedy bureaucrats have brought my family to the point of the story where we are currently at.
In the last post, you had just a dash….a little taste…..a nibble…..of school officials that messed up in the past, now being questioned about their actions in a totally unrelated investigation. In fear of lawsuits and being caught doing a child wrong, they lie to cover their mistakes, “inactions”, and they ended up throwing the one parent under the train to save their own skins. And all they have really done is caused more trouble for themselves in the future…… That is trouble in dealing with the appropriate areas of JUSTICE.
In a very detailed post, with many pictures and files to share we will also cover what the FOC did and did NOT do and how that area STILL has not been CORRECTED.
And now we have another little taste to give you about how family can do the same. Not mine. My family has been kind, supportive, and some have offered to testify (shown up repeatedly to do so over months) and have actually written letters of support.
No. My daughter’s family. His mother. Her paternal grandmother.
It is sad.
Disturbing…..looking back and recounting it all.
This is not all of it by far…
This story will last a little bit longer, but where it will go is where it has brought my daughter in making a decision: There are some people she has washed her hands of and will never trust again.
Yep. That image is just the beginning of what will be posted.
That leads us into what Paul Harvey would call “The Rest of the Story”.
My ex-mother-in-law was very open about the abuse and mental instability in her own family, as well as her ex-husband’s family, when I met her and throughout the years to follow. On so many occasions, she expressed how happy she was that her son found someone like me who had a big caring family to be a part of, since his family was so broken and full of drunks, sexual predators, cheaters, and beaters. She, herself dealt with what at first she called “manic depression” and then later spoke of her condition as bipolar disorder. She was rather frank with my family (mother, father, sister, etc.) about her ups and downs, as well as the Prozac that she took and when it wasn’t working.
My ex-mother-in-law expressed worry on a regular basis about her son having depression, as well as his drug/alcohol usage. She expressed that she worried about what he remembered of his father and their rocky relationship. Her and her ex-husband had been married and divorced twice. He had a drinking problem and had a nasty temper, going so far as trying to strangle my ex-mother-in-law in front of their son, my ex-husband. (Hmmmm….Sound familiar? Like Father, Like Son.) She had a bad habit of sleeping with married men. (So much so she even hit on my own father and right in front of me, when my mother and him were having problems. Dad had helped move some furniture for her and….well, she took that as an act of: He was interested. Not.)
My ex-mother-in-law claimed that she was sexually abused by her older brother throughout her childhood. She claimed that her son was sexually abused as a child by his male babysitter. She claimed that her brothers were all jealous of her and their adult relationships that I witnessed were as erratic as the seas. I never knew which one she was talking with or not, and if I made the mistake of bringing up one she was quarreling with…..well, I would get an ear full of how much she hated that one. She lost a child, a baby girl, and then had endometriosis and could no longer have any children. She talked about how abusive her ex-husband had been and what a drunk he had been. I sympathized with the woman, but knew something was not right with some of her stories.
She seemed to like being with my large family and I invited her to holiday events quite often. Depending if she was on an up or down, she would attend. There was one Christmas she came to my parents where we had many of my mother’s family over. My ex-mother-in-law would just not talk much and gave my family members very strange angry looks as they passed. She claimed that my family made her feel bad and she left. My ex said that his mother was just having one of those times. She became more and more rude to my family and my mother over time.
She had longtime affairs with married men, while single. There was her MSU instructor who was from out of the country. He was a pleasant man to meet, but he was married and had no intention of divorcing, because he had young daughters. My ex-mother-in-law would get angry that he wanted to spend time with his children and not her. It ended bitterly and she was a mess for a while. The ups and downs got worse and my ex spent a lot of time with her, his mother in her depression. That was the last boyfriend, before she met who is now her much older and well-off husband.
After we had gotten married and our one and only was due to arrive, my ex-mother-in-law began to act more strange. Her ups and downs became more extreme. But she let us know that her psychotherapy boyfriend had suggested alternate therapy for her and that she was not on the same medications any longer. She didn’t need them any longer! Her anger became quick and her mood swings were quite unbearable. She was always angry and talked horribly about her family and any woman-friend of her past. (I had co-workers who had worked with her in the past, who did not like my ex-mother-in-law based off of the married men she fooled around with and how she tended to stab other women in the back to get ahead.)
She started telling my mother and sister stories and things that they became concerned about and brought to my attention.
At one get together she told my family members about how her son, my ex, would cry so bad she would lock him in a room. She ended up letting him cry until he ruptured something in his belly. She told stories about how bad it was raising her son. How she would leave him alone while she went to work, and he was too young for school, and told him to be quiet and not answer the door or someone would take him away.
And the weirdest of them all was this:
There were occasions when the ex-mother-in-law would tell family members and ME, that if my ex messed up as bad as his father did, she would take our child and raise it as her own.
Let me post this again:
This is not the first of what you will call Freudian Slips.
It would just get worse. She made a bedroom for my daughter at her home and kept clothes for her there, never to be worn….just clothes hung in my daughter’s closet over “there”. His mother started to just want him and our daughter to come and visit, only. My then husband would demand that I stay home. (Later, as you will see, she claimed that she never knew of this and would never request that I stay away…….)
Her and her new psychotherapist husband started to prepare St. Johns wort teas for my ex-husband, while our marriage began to crumble. My ex started to become more paranoid and then there was the weird hallucination moment in the grocery store, when he came rushing to us in a panic because he feared his wife and child were figments of his imagination. When we were on the cusp of divorcing she sent the following message to my ex, prior to our divorce:
I found it in our joint email trash and forwarded it on to be saved in my own email address. I knew things were getting too weird with both of them. I also wondered where he went since he obviously was not seeing his mother on times he claimed he was with “mom”.
And shortly after that she told me face to face, that no matter what happened, she would do anything for her son and protect him even knowing what he had been doing to me and our daughter.
I guess she held true to that.
My ex-mother-in-law started to act differently years after our divorce and during a spell that my ex was dating another woman, who did not seem to get along with his mother and exited the scene right after they tried to move in together. I had been injured in a bike accident and the ex-mother-in-law started showing up at my apartment to see me and my daughter. From what I have learned, she wasn’t getting enough of “her time” with my daughter. My daughter told me that her father didn’t take her to her grandmothers a lot anymore….
Let me back up here.
Quick important fact: My ex DID NOT HAVE OUR DAUGHTER STAY OVERNIGHT WITH HIM ALONE up until this point. He had moved over 100 miles away (without notifying me or the FOC) to live with a friend, who had drinking and driving problems, a pot smoking habit and had lost his parenting time with his own children. Our daughter, once overnights were allowed, stayed weekends with her grandmother, his mother, until he moved back to the area to move in with his new girlfriend.
This is where we pick up the story. He started having our daughter stay with him at his new apartment with his girlfriend. Things were not jiving with the ex-mother-in-law and the new girlfriend. The girlfriend that left and left behind a “Dear John” letter that my daughter found….
The ex-mother-in-law started the complaints that my ex was being mean to her and this is where all of the “I didn’t know he told you that” and “I didn’t mean what I said” and “I was just so confused” crap started up from her.
Well, of course the ex still left our daughter with his mother quite a bit as he moved on from one woman to the next……
…and I met and married my husband.
My ex-mother-in-law asked my daughter to ask us if she could come to our wedding. My daughter was to just ask us, not tell us that Grandma wanted to come. (She let us on to how Grandma asked her to ask us if she could come. We thought we were just granting the wishes of a child for family unity.) Her Grandmother, my ex-mother-in-law, had been visiting quite a bit since we moved to be near the lake up north. She camped nearby and when my ex didn’t want our daughter during “his parenting time” she would come up and camp and my daughter would camp out.
My daughter brought up something repeatedly and after I lost my child, she got mad and told me to “stop talking to Grandma”. My daughter caught my ex-mother-in-law telling my ex a secret that my daughter had told her Grandma: I was pregnant AND It was high risk.
My ex started calling me at all hours of the day and night, during work and while I tried to sleep. Harassing me, threatening he was going to do something stupid with our child, telling me how stupid I was to get remarried and try to have another kid – it wouldn’t work “You will see”. That story is for another blog post…
It just got worse with the ex and his mother. She would call. He would text. All different stories. I have the texts about situations like: She would meet and pick up my daughter at McDonalds at 6:00pm. She texted the ex that she was due to pick up our daughter at 5:30pm. She told my daughter “Grandma will see you at 6.” I got to the restaurant at 6 and she had blown up to the ex about me changing plans and not letting her know…..
It was a drama for her, as her husband put it she would “flare”. This was the typical. This is how it was and ended up being.
And then the spring break fiasco. In short: The ex left our daughter with the ex-mother-in-law for the first part of spring break during what was supposed to be his parenting time again. Since he wouldn’t take her and planned to spend his vacation time off fishing with his buddies, we asked to take the time and spend it on an road trip vacation. My ex agreed.
My ex-mother-in-law told my daughter I was stealing her.
And then the ex-mother-in-law proceeded to call me foul names and blame me for everything wrong in her life. My daughter was a mess when we went to pick her up, mid-week. She wanted nothing to do with her grandmother after hearing more rants from her.
The next visit to them, via her father, my daughter was apologized to by her grandmother……..AND then locked in her psychotherapist step-grandfather’s home office until she screamed and cried and begged to leave. He had tried to convince her that she had lied and what she was learning at her little country church was brainwashing her into a woman she shouldn’t be. When they allowed her to leave the room, they told her that she could never tell me what they did, or I would never let them see her again. She was no longer a little girl and she knew what was done was wrong and told us as soon as she came home to us. I reported this incident to the FOC and the state psych board.
……nothing done…..of course……
So, for a long time before this the ex-mother-in-law has told my daughter that she was so sorry about how her father treats my daughter. She would tell my daughter how much she wanted to help, but she was afraid she would never see my daughter again if she took a stand against her son.
This woman told ME what she had witnessed my ex do to my daughter: Bullying and trying to force her to eat peanut/nut foods to break her out of her bubble. This woman talked about it in front of my daughter to me.
This woman told me how filthy and disgusting my ex’s home was all the time. This woman told me the same stories my daughter did about the garbage and dirt and mold and peanut products and in front of my daughter and others! This woman told me that she went over and cleaned my ex’s home sometimes, just as my daughter told me too!
This woman got on a stand and swore that she would tell the truth.
She denied everything she ever told me and others. Called my daughter a liar.
My daughter – her GRANDDAUGHTER saw the transcripts.
She knows her grandmother lied under oath.
And the courts think that it is wrong that this now young lady, a teenager knows that people lied…..under oath……about her…………
I told all of this to the Evaluator. He left all of it out from his report: what I told him. My daughter told him too. He left that out as well.
I have more………